


Gator Baby

by GuileandGall



Series: Deification of the Condemned [5]
Category: Saints Row
Genre: Anger, Coping, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2003436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuileandGall/pseuds/GuileandGall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ravi can have a temper but there is one day a year where she locks herself away because she's damn near a terror to be around. Her patience is thinner than normal and her temper can flare with a word. But that's the day Johnny decides that it might just be time for some of this Zin technology to pay it the hell forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gator Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Chy as always for encouraging me not to just toss this from the start and for editing a second time once I fleshed it out. Also a note of thank to Kakumei who mentioned she's love to see Ravi beyond her usual domain--so I dragged her out of gutter and threw her in the land of feels and this is what the broken little princess came back with.

**Gator Baby**

**-1-**

Ravi did not mind the time travelling technology, but she tended to avoid it. Her past was not something she harbored a desire to repeat--any of it--even if just to be in the same place and time again. Pierce and Ben were planning a trip to just take a peek in the windows in some revolutionary meetings in South America in the mid-20th century. They just wanted to listen in on a few speeches firsthand, see what things were like there and how people were responding to the situations around them. They called it political planning. But she was fairly certain they just really liked the weather in South America, or that they were planning a diversion to Carnivale.

Any other day she would field offers to join them, listen to them detail their plans and goals while jokingly telling them to bring her back something pretty or sparkly. Sometimes she would go into graphic detail about an item that she knew would make Pierce cringe just to see him wince at the idea of having to purchase one. But that morning was different. There were no jokes, no teasing, no suggestions that she come with.

Instead Ravi segregated herself and pummeled the heavy bag, relentlessly. With each hit, she felt the impact in her joints, felt it rattling through her bones. Loosing herself in the sound of her padded practice gloves connecting with the leather bag, she tried not to think about the date. This day always felt the same--hollow, dark, and suffocating. Even if she did not know the actual date, there was just a coldness that seemed to seep into her body every April 14th.

Her shoulders burned and an ache started to creep down her back. The pulse of her blood pummeled through her veins hard enough she swore she could feel it. It reminded her she was alive. "Yeah," she muttered quietly with her punches. "You're still fucking alive."

"And kicking."

The deep rumbling voice stalled her movement and she turned. Johnny was leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, wearing that look between concern and appreciation.

"You're pulling those punches," he said when she started up again.

Ravi grabbed the bag and held onto it for a moment trying to breathe through the growl rising in her throat. But she wound up turning on him, shoulders back head lowered in that way she tended to when she was itching for a fight. "You volunteering to give me something else to hit," she growled.

Johnny just chuckled at her.

They both knew her well enough that in this mood that would just piss her off. He knew what today was. He had been there the first time around, the day it became an anniversary, so to speak. The rip of the Velcro preceded the smack of the gloves off the hard floor.

"Don't you dare fucking laugh at me, Gat. We both know--"

Before she got the rest of the threat out, Johnny had closed the distance. His hand slipped around the back of her neck, a few fingers threading into her pulled back lavender tresses. When he tugged her head back, just so, everything did a one-eighty. Suddenly in that moment he was laying claim to that space as his domain, and, if she were honest with herself, she needed him to.

The back of his index finger cruised up her throat, finally coming to rest under her chin. "My fierce little gator. Always thrashing about ready for those little death rolls of yours," he said in that low voice as his eyes moved over her.

Ravi stared at his lips as he spoke, letting the sound of his voice roll through her, while she watched the words flow off his lips. Somehow that helped soothe her even more.

"I know what day it is. The list of things that will prompt you to sneak out of bed alone is a very short one."

The tension coiled in her muscles again and she tried to pull away. She didn't want to talk about. Ravi never really had been able to deal with everything that day accused her of.

"I'll remember that later, cocodri[i]." Johnny's promise hung between them. The sharpness in his mouth at the correction, softened. "You still upset that you were late?" he asked, his voice calm and even.

She maintained her calm until the glasses came off. Seeing the concern in his eyes shook her, and letting her see it was a calculated move on his part. She felt that burn in her throat again. That cold emptiness of guilt seemed to steal her breath as the feelings crept back over her. It was like being lowered into a tank of cold water. Eventually the shiver overcame her.

"I should have been there," she said, her voice small and shrill.

"You took the first flight."

"I should have just stolen a fucking plane. Kidnapped some pilot. Maybe--" Ravi choked back the sob.

"He knew you were coming."

"And he died waiting. Alone." Well, that wasn't quite true his sister had been there. "I hadn't been home to see him in two years. I should have been there."

She choked back the sob, but when Johnny pulled Ravi into his embrace it broke the dam. There was one safe place for her to cry, and it was in his arms. His arms were strong as he held her firmly; his lips were warm against her forehead as he muttered soothing words, his touch tender and caring as he stroked her hair, her face, her back.

It felt so good. Too good. Better than she deserved, she thought. Suddenly Ravi struggled against his grip, regaining control of the situation and replacing their personal power structure with the professional one. "Ca va[ii]," she ordered of both of them.

Her back bounced off the heavy bag as she stared at him. She could feel the storm raging in her. Two warring sides fought for dominance. She wanted to be his girl, and needed to be the boss. She needed to feel in charge right now, in control, even if it was a dissipating feeling.

 

**-2-**

Johnny watched the struggle flash in her face. There was only one person in the world that ever meant more to her than him, and that had been her father. Ravi had always been Daddy's Girl, up until the day he died. Then things seemed to fall apart on her. Of course, Johnny had been there to keep it all from completely crumbling.

"What are you going to do about it then, Boss?"

"There's nothing to do. I abandoned him. He was always there for me and the one time he needed me…" Her voice got progressively smaller and softer until it trailed off completely. "He deserved so much better than me."

"Your father never said that. And he never would," Johnny barked. "That man hated me. But you know what? After that lunch where he told me so outright, he still tried. Whenever he came to town to see you, he always included me. Not because he liked or respected or even feared me. He did it because he loved you, and I was part of your life."

He closed on her again, holding her face in his hands. "If there is one thing that old cagey bastard knew it was how much you loved him," Johnny said gently.

"I should have been there. Instead I was fucking coming down off that goddamn Samedi shit. Missed Nannan's first call," she said weakly, looking up at him with a stroke of the regret she felt. "I could've caught an earlier flight. Maybe I could have at least been there for him, said goodbye."

Pressing his lips to his forehead he thought about the idea that had come to him hours earlier when he was listening to Pierce and Ben. He knew it was a long shot, and maybe it was a little bit stupid, or a lot stupid. But he remembered how much that one event affected her at the time and since. A pang of guilt struck a chord when he realized that she had been through seven of these, on her own.

She wrapped around him resting her head against his heart while Johnny cradled her head in one hand as his other arm slid across her shoulders. The idea raced through his head again. Standing there holding Ravi tightly to him, it seemed the best choice to make. This could actually happen and maybe in all the craziness Johnny could convince her to take a tiny bit of peace for herself.

"Come on." Johnny kissed the top of her head and grabbed her by the hand.

Ravi did not object until he tugged her into the control room. "What are you doing?"

"We're going to say goodbye," he said matter-of-factly as he stared at the console in front of him.

"Are you insane?" she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the keyboard.

"Nope. Already talked to the boy about it." He shrugged her off. "He went and programmed it and everything."

"You told Matt?" she asked, her irritation clear.

"Not the details. Just the date and the place and that old you wouldn't be there then."

"Why do you even think this will work?"

His frantic movements stopped. Turning slowly, he caught her gaze over the rim of his glasses. Each step toward her measured and exact, until he touched her in that tender way that made her eyes flutter. "I told Matt it was something you missed. Something important. Asked about the problems associated with you being in that place then, even if you aren't at the same location. I even told him you would be there later."

"It really shouldn't be a problem," Matt added from across the room. "And I'll keep an eye on things, make sure nothing untoward happens." His smile was soft, a trace of a blush on his cheeks that made him a little more endearing.

"And it won't mess anything up? There won't be any repercussions?"

Matt nodded. When she looked back up at Johnny, the hacker tilted his head at the man. Johnny just winked at him. The reassurance did the trick, at least long enough to get Ravi to do it. Sure Gat knew, Pierce and King would be pissed that they had to postpone their little trip, but he felt this ranked above a desire to hear a few revolutionaries chat up some recruits.

Johnny knew the date of her father's death was creeping up on them. It had popped into his head a several times over the last week, along with the possibility of redressing that affliction. Ravi had jumped into this dark spot for the first time when they arrived at her father's packed house down on the bayou just outside of New Orleans, where she had grown up. Almost in an instant she fell into a dark spot that she regressed to every year.  

If he were honest with himself even he had felt a severe bitterness and responsibility. But he had not been able to, or even thought about assuaging his own discomfort, because he wanted to attend to Ravi's in that instant. But with everything that had happened in the last year, and given the Zin technology, Johnny could not help but wonder if he might be able to relieve some of both of their uneasiness. After talking with Matt in generalities, Gat formulated this plan.

 

**-3-**

The porch overhang sheltered them from the light rain. Ravi's hand tightened around Johnny's, almost painfully so.

"It must be about two o'clock," she said quietly, her voice holding a touch of joy and pain. Johnny peeked in the window. A grandfather clock on the other side of the room read 2:15 p.m. "Daddy always said you could set your watch by the afternoon rain in the spring."

Johnny put his hand on her waist and pressed a kiss to her temple firmly.

"I'm fine. I just haven't been back since Daddy passed--" Her voice caught in her throat recalling why they here.

Ravi squeezed his hand again then let go and walked across the porch without a word then skipped down the steps and into the rain. Johnny watched her, marveling at her and wondering what she was doing. He worried that she might have changed her mind. Then she stopped, turning her face to the sky and holding her arms out. He could not help but stare at his lavender-tressed angel. Fat raindrops slide over her brow, gliding along her cheekbones, teasing at her purple-hued lips.

"Mon petit," gasped a female voice from behind him. "Get out of that rain before you catch your death of cold."

"Nannan, the rain is warm. And you worry too much," Ravi replied with a wide smile that held some measure of relief.

The older woman waved her hand dismissively as Ravi climbed the stairs. Then the pristinely coiffed, white-haired woman wrapped her niece and goddaughter into a tight hug. Johnny chewed at the corner of his mouth, suddenly nervous about his own presence. Most of her family disliked him, except Nannan Miette. Ravi buried her face in her father's sister's neck, squeezing her tightly.

"You've been away too long, cher. Your father will be glad you are here," she said softly against Ravi's forehead as she placed a warm peck there.

The boss brushed her hands across her cheeks quickly. Her grandmother handing her a lace handkerchief she tugged from the pocket of her dress. Miette smirked at Gat. "Jean," she called him. The woman never called him by his English name; she always made it French, which Ravi said was a sign that she liked him. "Etienne will be happy to see you. Both of you."

"Aren't old Southern women supposed to tell the truth?" Gat accused.

Miette landed a stinging slap on his shoulder; it was harder than he anticipated. "No, we make people smile, and that almost never involves the truth." She grinned at him widely as she took his cheeks in her hands. "You better be taking care of my bebe."

"As well as she'll let me," he replied with a smile.

She kissed him full on the mouth then released him. "Men are not supposed to be so pretty," she told him for about the dozenth time since he met her, then as always she slapped him square across the face.

The first few times it had been a surprise, but now he expected it. Hell, he would have thought she hated him if she suddenly stopped punctuating that repeated statement with that visceral response. The sting in his cheek made him smile. Ravi caressed his face then kissed the reddening mark gently.

"C'mon now. You daddy might be sleeping, but he will want you to wake him for 'dis." Miette pulled open the screen door.

A sob burst from Ravi's throat. It was so unexpected that neither of them knew how to respond. Then she was suddenly laughing through the tears. "He finally fixed that damn spring," the boss said, stumbling over her own words which broke with the mania.

Miette's pained smile moistened her eyes. "Last month." The admission made so softly contained such power.

Johnny's arm slipped around Ravi quickly, keeping her on her feet. _Something so mundane._ He did not quite understand why a silent screen door seemed to break her heart.

"Jean, come wit' me. I got something for ya. Your daddy's in his office," she told Ravi, brushing her thumbs over her niece's cheeks and pinching them each once. "Mon petit, there ya go. Now go see your Papa."

Ravi held onto his hand for a moment. When she let go finally he wanted to wait, in case. Well he didn't know what he thought she might need him for. Despite his desire to remain in earshot, Miette adamantly detoured him into the kitchen. She had a pot of gumbo on the stove and dished him a bowl with rice and sprinkled a bit of file atop it before she set it in front of him. Then older woman joined Gat at the table, setting a glass of iced tea near him.

"How bad is he?" Johnny asked, even though he knew the man in the other room would be dead in a little more than twelve hours.

"Truth be told. I think he's waitin' for her," Miette whispered into her teacup. "She's his world, always was. My brother was wrapped around his daughter's little finger, even before she was born."

Johnny stared at her for a moment, his mind racing. Her father was the one person she could count on her entire life. He did not care about the life she had chosen. After the explosion, Etienne spent every day the state would allow at her bedside. He was as fierce as she was. He had punched out the first officer who tried to make him keep to the posted visiting hours. That was the point when the Ravi's mother's money came into play. The right lawyer in his pocket, the right palms greased, and Etienne was allowed all the time with his comatose daughter as he wanted. He was better at knowing who could be bought than Ravi was.

The woman continued her story, oblivious to the way Johnny stared at her. "Her mama was gorgeous, that skin the color of a perfect praline and those green eyes, just like the bebe. Etienne was a goner the second he saw Priyam. And the minute Priyam told him she was pregnant, my brother was enamored with the very idea of his baby girl. Meeting her for the first time secured his devotion. She was the spitting image of her mother. Except for that light hair that no one can figure out how she wound up with."

Miette's smile was soft and pained. "When Priyam went into distress, my brother refused to let anyone take his baby girl from him. He had lost the love of his life and Etienne refused to chance letting his sweet daughter go. He broke one orderly's hand," she said with a feint laugh that made Johnny smile. "After that, no one tried to take the baby, which did make the doctors' jobs that much harder."

Gat could appreciate the sentiment. He shared Etienne Lecuyer's penchant for holding her tight, trying to keep her safe, though Johnny knew how many times he had failed in that endeavor. He could remember each time he let his hold on Ravi get too lax.

The gruff chuckle from the other room drew the attention of them both. Then Ravi called Johnny's name. "Go on, son. I know Etienne wanted to talk to you as well. He and I have already said our peace."

Glancing at his hands again, he saw the shade of white his knuckles had turned since Miette began her little revelation. He dropped the spoon with a clatter and pushed away from the table.

When he entered the study, Gat stayed in the doorway. Ravi was all but draped across her father's chest. Mr. Lecuyer, it was the only way Johnny had ever referred to the man, and when those piercing gray eyes turned on him, Johnny straightened. The dying man clasped his daughter's hand in one of his, while the other stroked her hair lightly. When Etienne strained forward and kissed the top of her head, Ravi looked up at him. A little nod of his head, directed her gaze onto her lover.

Ravi leaned up and held her empty hand out to Johnny. He did not move initially. It was her father's little gesture that pulled the bold man out of the doorway. Johnny pressed her knuckles to his lips as he approached. When Etienne held his own hand out to him, Gat took it. The handshake was firmer and held more strength than the younger man expected.

Her father's auburn hair had gone completely white and his skin was slacker than Johnny remembered. But his eyes and his grip were still virile and firm.

 

**-4-**

There was one thing that Ravi had not had to worry in the last year, give or take, and that was losing Johnny again. Even sitting there all night by her father's bedside, listening to her daddy's quick shallow breaths, her lover didn't budge. His hands were steady, on her shoulder when her own strength was enough, and tucked behind her neck when she needed his.

He did barely moved. When she needed a moment away from the bedside, Gat stayed. Near dawn she came back to the room with coffee and her father's voice called her attention. She stopped and watched.

"She'll be right back Mr. Lecuyer," Johnny said quietly.

"No. Come here, boy."

Ravi noticed Gat stiffen slightly, but then he leaned toward the man. Both men tensed when Etienne grabbed the back of the younger man's neck, but the Saint relented, let Ravi's father pull him closer. She heard nothing else of their conversation. But she knew it was something unexpected because she could see the surprise on her lover's face and the relief on her father's when Johnny nodded his assent.

"Good man," the white-haired man said, letting his hand fall back to the bed. Her father turned his gaze and smiled at her. "Ma belle ange[iii]." His voice seemed so weak in comparison to the look in his eyes, it offered her a hope that she knew in her heart she shouldn't kindle. Her father would die before sunrise.

"Come sit by your papa, ma fifille[iv]." He petted the blanket next to him.

Ravi crossed the room wearing the smile she practiced over many long summers with her mother's family. It pained her to turn it on her father, it felt like a betrayal, but she did not want his last memory of her to be in tears. When she neared the bed, she handed Johnny a mug. He rose and kissed her tenderly before she retook her spot on the edge of the bed, taking her father's hand in both of hers.

They talked about nothing really--there were no goodbyes, just memories, laughter and smiles, and small bits of comfort from her father's proud recollections about her and her life. What surprised her most was that Johnny didn't move an inch. He stood next to her, letting her lean against him, while his hand moved along her shoulder and sliding up her neck when he noticed her tension rise. Her lover lent her his strength and she knew she could not repay any of his consideration.

As the clock struck two in the morning, Johnny's hand moved to her neck again. 2:27am. They both knew the time, though he seemed more conscious of it than she up until that point. The pressure in his hand was faint, just enough to remind her that he was there, there for her. When the grandfather clock in the hall chimed the quarter hour, Ravi kissed her father's forehead. His soft smile betrayed the question in his eyes.

"Daddy, I love you," she said, resting against his chest again.

"Mon petit cocodri," Etienne crooned. He stroked her cheek, finding the evidence of the grief she had spent the afternoon trying to hide. "Je t'aime, ma fifille. Si beausoup.[v]" He bent just enough to press a kiss to her forehead. "You should not worry for me. Your mother is waiting for me. She comes to take me home. And I know that I do not have to worry for you any longer." She missed the look he gave Johnny, but Ravi saw the two hands that rested on her own, which lay just over her father's heart--her father's and Johnny's.

It might have been her imagination, but she thought she felt it slow. Ravi did feel it stop. Her arms tightened around the man who had been an anchor for her most of her life, through everything that happened to her, through everything she did and that was done to her, her father remained the steadfast.

The strong heartbeat that had always been a comfort failed, the firmness in his hands that always held her so tight loosened. While that foundation crumbled, she was reminded of that which she already knew--her father was gone, but she was not alone.

She had no idea how long Johnny let her lie there, how long he let her cry, but she did not do so alone. Ravi felt the weight of him against her back, his fingers laced between hers, and his steady breath on her neck.

"Ravi. We have to go," he finally whispered. It was strained. And the strain is what made her respond readily.

She never expected to see the bloodshot and puffy eyes when she looked up into Johnny's face. When Ravi refused to stand Gat gathered her up, retreating to the porch before her godmother awoke and recalled the rift, stepping through it with her held tightly against his chest. His strong arms around her, Ravi pressed her head to his chest, savoring the powerful sound echoing though him and resounding through her.

 

[i] Cocodri: alligator

[ii] Ca va (sa va): That's enough

[iii] My beautiful angel

[iv] My little girl

[v] I love you, my girl. So very much.


End file.
